It has been your dream since childhood to have your own car and go for long drives. Now, you are living that dream. You own a car at the age of 20!
Let's see how your car is related to your life. Now that you own a car, you have become independent, you no longer have to wait for the buses or the cab, nor do you have to go around asking your friends for a ride. You now have the independence to choose where to go and when to go. However, when you are on the road you need to follow rules or you may end up in trouble. This independence also applies to your life, you have the choice, what to do, and when to do. Independence is good when you respect it, when it is misused it can damage your entire life. With the car, you are at the wheel of control. The steering of the car is involuntary to your voluntary control. It will move in the direction you want it to move. So take time to think before you steer the wheel to a arrive at a place. Like the car steering, your life’s steering is also now in your control. I am here to guide you, but with the independence, you have acquired, you should be careful where you take your life. A wrong steer can cause an unfortunate accident, similarly, a wrong turn or decision in your life will change it forever. So my dear, be careful of how you steer the car and your life. In the car, you are the driver, and there will be others who sit beside you and behind you. Being the owner of the car you choose whom you want to be with. Sometimes some of them may leave you mid-journey and for some, you may wonder why you allowed them in the car. The same is the story of your life, choose wisely whom you want beside you and whom you want to leave behind. The type of people you keep in the car decides how your journey goes, how well you will live your life also depends on the type of people whom you choose to be with. So my dear, be cautious while choosing relationships. The accelerator, one of the most important things in the car. It decides the speed, speed should always be proper, if it is too fast you miss out on things that you may enjoy during the journey, if it is too slow, then you will not reach the destination on time. You need to maintain a speed such that you enjoy the journey and reach the destination on time. There may be many exciting things along the journey so don’t miss out on those by speeding. Life is a journey and you need to live every moment. In order to achieve success in life never jump or try to get things too fast. Let life take its turn and let destiny decide for you. There is a time destined for everything, and like the car, whatever is your destiny you will have it. That, however, does not mean that you just sit waiting for things to happen. There is a saying .. “You do your best and God will do the rest” so just counter check are you doing your best always? Now for something that is of utmost importance, the maintenance of the car is essential in order to keep it running smoothly. It requires regular and timely fill of fuel, and proper oiling and other maintenance work. In life never ignore food, you have to take your meals on time and in proper quantity so that you can enjoy life without any problems. Take care of your body by exercising and keeping fit to enjoy life to the fullest. So, my dear, I am proud that my daughter is the owner of a beautiful car, the “Pikachu” as you call it. Based on the meaning of the name Pikachu, let the car be the "sparkle" of your life. Take care of your Pikachu and yourself so that you both may enjoy and have a lot of adventures together. with loads of love your mom
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My fifteen year old called me “mom I want to talk to you.” She had that look on her face and I knew this was going to be something hard hitting and I better be prepared. I asked her to sit beside me and smiled…not knowing what to expect.
As “moms” we get that intuition you see, and as expected she looked at my face and asked, “Mom, Why don’t I have a boyfriend?” Well, that was something out of the box, now what do I tell her? I thought for a minute and asked the most predictable question “Why do you need one?” “Mom, all other girls have boyfriends…is it because I am your daughter? She had the most innocent and inquisitive look on her face. “What?” I didn’t quite understand what she meant. “Because you are a teacher in my school, so no one dares to approach me” she answered. Her face stern and quizzical. I was at a loss for words and just sat there not knowing what to do. Then as most parents normally do I tried to avoid the matter. “You don’t need to think about all that- focus on your studies. This is not the age for boyfriends” I said trying to dismiss the matter. “But mom” she wailed, “Go and study” I told her very sternly. She walked away reluctantly. I knew it was not right, but I guess I was not prepared to take that topic up. I sat there looking at her leave making a mental note that I need to talk to her about this sometime soon. However, that time never really happened. Nonetheless, the thought kept haunting me. I guess it’s not just with my daughter but also with most teenagers. Times have changed, now teenagers are into relationships that they themselves are not sure about. I tried thinking of a rejoinder to this. When I was her age, I didn’t think of having boyfriends. Not that I didn’t have any guy friends, but getting into a relationship i.e. a romantic relationship with any guy was not in my agenda. I don’t know why. Maybe we were naïve at that age and were not exposed to superfluous doses of television serials, movies and western culture. We believed what we saw, relationship meant “marriage”. Today, there are loads of serials showing boys and girls in college having more than one relationship, movies with live-in relationships and extra-marital affairs. There are some so called “modern” families who believe boys and girls can be good friends, but fail to keep a check on them. They do not realise that these kids in the name of friendship tend to get intimate with each other and end up with different ideas about relationships. This may be common in most western countries, but as Indians we follow certain traditions and culture. This does not imply that I don’t have a modern outlook, I do believe that boys and girls could be good friends but without getting intimate. Nonetheless, I am proud of our Indian traditions and culture and want my daughter also to value them. Three years later, I visited my daughter studying abroad. We were finally meeting after months and both of us had being missing each other terribly. We are very close more like friends rather than mom and daughter. She would share everything that happened during the day with me, in fact she wouldn’t sleep nor let me sleep till she talked about her day and her opinions on things. Although the topic of boyfriends did come up I would never have a proper answer to it. While I was in Canada, we went out for a walk one evening, she had being hinting me about so many things she wanted to ask me. I still had no answer for the question she asked me long ago, but I was not prepared for what she was going to ask. She had a very different question now, something beyond just having boyfriends. We sat down on a bench facing the marina; the sky was melting into the waters with hues of orange, purple and blue. She was looking at the ferries lined up and without looking at me she asked “Mom, what is wrong if I get intimate with my boyfriend? “ I was dumbstruck; hailing from a traditional Hindu upper middle class family, this was beyond my thinking. I looked at her and she looked back, but before I could answer, she continued, “One of my friend told me that, our body is precious we should not be casual about it and have physical relation with any one” Is that right? Phew! Thank God for small mercies, I was obliged to her friend at least I had a base to begin with. “Yes,” I said. “That’s right”. This time looking straight into her eyes, though it was dark and I could not really read her expression. “What you call intimacy comes with love, when you love someone with your heart, then intimacy follows. Your body has needs; sexual needs, however that does not mean that you be intimate and sleep with anyone. The need is lust just sexual satisfaction. You may feel dejected if the person you were intimate with just walks out on you. We tend to have more than just a physical relation and give a part of our soul to the person.” Wow! Did I actually say all that to my eighteen-year-old daughter? It was getting dark and I could not see her face very clearly, I could not judge her expression, however I continued, “you are not comfortable changing clothes in front of me, what makes you think that it will be easy to be intimate with just any boy? Baby, the country that we come from follow certain traditions and I feel that you should value them.” Then she looked at me and smiled, that look on her face conveyed that she understood. “Then Mom” she said, and I thought “now what?” Once again she looked at the ferries and asked, “What do you think of live-in relationships?” Oh God! I was tongue-tied. I tried digesting the question; thinking what to say. Then, gingerly without looking at her, I asked, “Why do you want to have a live-in relationship?” She now turned her face to look at me “So that we get to know each other very well, and know everything about each other before marriage.” “Hmm, so you want a trial before marriage?” I asked with a sly smile looking right in her eyes. “Yes, So that we know each other thoroughly”, she said without taking her eyes away from mine. “Why would you want someone to know you thoroughly? What fun would it be if you know the person inside out before marriage? And suppose it does not work out, what will you do?” She looked away from me… lost in some thought, I continued… “What will keep the relation growing if you already know each other thoroughly? Don’t you think it will be better to keep something’s to yourself and let him come to know about your habits, likes, dislikes slowly and the same about him also?” She had a strange look on her face, and then she looked at me again. “You can get to know a person without a live-in relation also.” I continued, “Go for outings, movies, dinner dates, talk and share your ideas. Then you will look forward to staying with each other and will be ready to accept each other with your likes and dislikes.” She looked at me with a satisfied smile and said, “ You know mom, you are smart, and you know how to convince your daughter. I know what you mean and I do value our traditions, its just that I wanted to clear these things; so now don’t worry about your daughter.” I smiled and tried to think…did I just manage to convince my teenage daughter? Before I could feel satisfied and take pride in myself, she put up the same old question again “But mom, why don’t I have a boyfriend?” Now what do I say? Hey! So, how is the mom, now that the daughter is not here? Are you missing your daughter?
Obviously! What a question to ask? How would you feel when your eighteen-year-old daughter is away from you? Obviously, you are missing her; getting used to the fact that you don’t have to wake her up in the morning and run behind her needs for the rest of the day. Thus, trying to come in terms with the void that is created in your life. Maybe people think that asking this question will make the mother feel better…really? My little doll…my world … my lifeline is away from me…how do you expect me to be? Enjoying life? What do you expect me to say? That I sit and cry? Well not exactly but yes I do miss her a lot. My daughter is pursuing higher studies in Canada and I have to put up with such questions since then. My tiny little doll who used to depend on me for everything, grew-up and is now a confident teenager. Those tiny hands that would grasp my finger tightly…grew into little hands that held my dupatta following me around the house… then the hands grew large enough to fit into mine and would accompany me for shopping, movies, or just for a drive beside me… then the hands took control over the steering wheel of my car and now they are far away from me controlling her own life without me. After completing all the formalities and getting the visa, sending her alone was a tough decision. I remembered having read somewhere “Having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body for a life time” well at least all these years I was able to see my heart walk outside, but now I would be sending my heart miles and miles away not being able to see her. Not able to see her, well that would mean,…not being able to see the twinkle in her eyes when she likes something (mostly an SRK movie), not see the faint dimples that form when she smiles, not see her cute satisfactory expression when she gets her favourite food, not see her sulking when I shout at her… its not just "not being able to see her", but its missing all those moments that I live with her. The most significant thing about her is her blabbering; she can go on and on…sometimes even to the extent of irritating me but I loved getting irritated and now I long to hear her and wait for her untimely whatsapp calls! All mother daughter relationships are special, but being a single mother it is difficult to explain how much a part of my life she is. It’s so easy for people to ask, “Do you miss your daughter?” and expect an answer to that! The most common question is “How did you manage to send your daughter so far away from yourself?” Of course it was not easy, for that matter bringing up a daughter without her father is also not easy. My daughter probably has no memories of her father. I got a divorce when she was about two years, since then I have brought her up with a lot of struggles. She has been everything to me, like I said “my lifeline”. Coming back to the question; how did I manage to send her “saat samundar paar” (like it is normally said in Hindi). Well to be frank, I don’t know how I did it…all I knew was I had to allow her to spread her wings and fly. What do people think? I want to enjoy life alone, is that the answer they expect? How many would understand the struggles of a single mother bringing up a girl child? If you are not in the same situation, you will never understand! All these years, I have seen that people prefer being mere spectators or advisors, very few genuinely come forward and be a part of your struggles and stand beside you. It is important for girls to know how to survive alone in this world. The only way I could ensure that my daughter will be independent, encounter the harsh realities of life, take her own decisions, learn from her mistakes, see the extend of her wings and live her dreams was to let her live without me! The analogy of Rip Van Winkle and the education system is a modification of the original story. Rip Van Winkle, a fairy tale character goes in a deep slumber for years and is unable to recognise anything in the world after he wakes up. The twist to this is that, when he enters a classroom, he immediately recognises it. The classrooms, it is said are the only place that has not changed for more than a decade.
However, it is reassuring to know that things are now changing; there are modifications coming up not only in the classrooms but also in the teaching methodology. These are not mere implementation of technology in the form of use of MMPs, smart boards or students using I-pad or tablets in the classroom. Learning now goes beyond classrooms and strives to go beyond the school gates also. The role of a 21st century educator has changed significantly; they have to blend inside the classroom studies with outside the classroom practical knowledge requirements. There is a growing demand of inquiry and voice & choice among students that is becoming the guiding practice and pedagogy to be followed by the educators. In this global world, the curiosity and hunger for learning is making us stretch beyond the borders to acquire knowledge. Thus, it requires the teachers to be more of “facilitators” rather than mere knowledge “imparters”. The education system now attempts to achieve “knowledge by co-creation” where teachers and students are equally involved. Some of the upcoming trends in education involves use of social media, classroom without walls, flipped classrooms etc. Children today are hooked to Facebook, Instagram, twitter etc., how far is it wise on our part to keep away from this digital media? Using these social media as teaching tool will help in bringing current technology in the classroom and bridging the gap between the digital media and education. These can become powerful tools that not only let the teachers to be in touch but also be aware of the inner thoughts of the students. Facebook group can be used to post class announcements, news, reflections etc., apart from that, including parents in the group will give them an idea of the happenings in the class. Instagram can be used as a platform to display student’s work or projects etc. Encouraging them to create blogs and YouTube channels also help the students display their talents and generate interest and liking for the subjects. Unlike what we think, these social media can be a useful teaching tool rather than a distraction. However, we need to be careful and set the privacy settings properly. If not the commercial sites, there are educational websites like Edmodo, Edublog etc. that allow creating groups and uploading materials and posts. Thus, there is a blend between technology and teaching giving rise to blended learning. No walls – no limitations is another trend in teaching that is gaining popularity. Field trips, factory or institution visits, outside classroom projects are ways that can enable students to learn and retain better. Science fairs, interacting with professionals, creating innovative products or organising bazaars enable students to gain practical knowledge with real world connections. Flipped classrooms are where the teacher allows the students to learn and understand on their own and with their peers. Here students watch videos or lectures at home provided by their teacher. This is followed by online discussion with peers and the teacher (the social media groups are used here). The students then complete assignments based on the video in the class in groups, under the guidance of the teacher. This involves use of technology and collaboration. Discussing in groups and completing the assignments allows better retention of the topic. Basically the teacher is not actually teaching the topic but allowing the students to explore on their own. Assessments are a major part of the education system. Term end and annual exams are giving way to continuous assessments. The trend is now shifting from the summative assessments to more of formative assessments. The formative assessments include assessing the skills the students learn. Self-assessments, as part of formative assessment enable students to understand where they stand in achieving learning goals. This will enable a smooth transition from the grade centric system to learning centric system. With all these changes for the students, what about the teachers? There is a need to create space and give them more thinking time to allow them to develop new pedagogies. School administrators are now realising the need to focus on remodelling the teacher spaces to enable collaboration among teachers worldwide, empowering them to share and exchange opinions and reflections. These are achieved by using innovative technologies to allow opportunities to go beyond borders for discussions and reflections. Today, teachers are gradually being recognised and valued as heroes. Another striking and the most important change, is connecting with the parent. Schools are now focussing on creating a home-school connection. This will allow parents to be involved in the learning of the child. Most schools conduct parent surveys, interviews to know the best teaching practices. Schools are now working on conducting seminars and lectures that help parents to understand the learning process. Technological developments make it possible for school management to develop connections with the parent throughout the year giving them reports and even daily classroom activities. These trends sure will leave the next Rip Van Winkle unable to recognise our modern classrooms. The success of this rests on the confidence of the teachers along with the trust and support of the parents. However, ultimately all this depends on the education system, a system that does not completely rely only on marks for higher education. “Yuck! How can you eat animals” most non-vegetarians must have encountered this question some time or other in their life. It is as if we are committing a crime by eating animals! I agree that organisms are killed to be food, but isn’t that part of survival since ages?
All of us have studied living and non-living in prep school, are animals the only living things? Biologically speaking plants are also living, so are fungi (mushrooms) for that matter, why is there no fuss about these organisms? Similarly, we all know the food chain, have you ever created a food web with humans as primary consumers? I know this maybe sounding Greek and Latin to some of you, so let us get away from the biological language. What I don’t understand is why should anyone comment on what others are eating? Staying in a place like Rajkot, this is something very common that non-vegetarians have to hear. There is hardly any restaurant that serves decent non-veg food, cooking at home has to be mostly in secrecy. Keralites, relish fish curry with rice and chicken biryani, however after shifting to Rajkot, I get a chance to eat all this only when I go to Kerala for vacations. This vacation when I was in Kerala, my friend who is a vegetarian commented, “This time be kind on poor animals”. So what should I have replied “You be kind to plants??” Again, what I don’t understand is I am not cooking at your place, nor am I catching fish or chicken from your place and above all I have never forced you to eat fish or chicken and have not asked which plants or plant parts you eat, so why should you comment on what I eat? Kerala is a coastal place and most people here survive on rice and fish curry. That is the staple diet. Why only Kerala? Places like West Bengal, Orissa, Goa, Andhra Pradesh and north-eastern states are all places where people relish rice and fish curry. We are all humans who have common ancestors, what do you think they ate? Fruits and nuts? Well, I am sorry to say that you are sadly mistaken. An article by Mark Sisson, states that early humans had a diet of fish, shellfish and even crocodiles and hippos; apart from this tubers, also formed a part of their diet. Human ancestors survived mostly on meat and fish since, fruits and nuts are not available throughout the year. Hunting was the most important form for getting food; early humans gradually improved their hunting skills by making different types of tools to kill animals. This is evident from the fossil record. They also developed strategies to encounter and kill even huge animals like elephants and mammoths. Nature.com cites reports that early humans developed specialized tools to remove the meat and marrow from animal bones. This led to the conclusion that meat consumption was regular in early humans. All humans got their food by hunting, gathering and fishing before agriculture developed around 10,000 years ago. Scientists’ earlier thought that humans ate a diet consisting mainly of meat. However after 2014, the discovery of human waste showing diet of Neanderthals changed the view giving evidence that Neanderthals were omnivores. A detailed research on the LiveScience website talks about a skull of an infant showing vitamin B12 deficiency, vitamin B12 is derived only from animal sources and a deficiency of this indicates that this is required for proper brain functioning. We all know that humans evolved due to the increase in cranial capacity. This was the main feature that allowed humans to finally domesticate plants and animals. There are certain evidences that the meat diet helped humans evolve increasing the brain capacity. About two million years ago our ancestors started developing larger brains and this was very crucial for evolution. Many scientists have linked this to eating meat. Apes had low quality plant diet whereas our direct ancestor, Homo erectus, started eating the calorie dense meat and marrow diet. According to the scientists, digesting a higher quality diet and less bulky plant fiber led humans to have a much smaller gut. Thus, they freed up energy that could be used by the brain. Leslie Aiello proposed this with paleoanthropologist Peter Wheeler. Comparing the energy requirement of human and ape brain it was seen that human brain required 20 percent of human energy when resting as compared to only 8 percent in apes. Thus, concluding that from the time of H erectus, human body has depended on an energy dense food diet that is mainly meat. Well, here I am not promoting non-vegans or vegans, what I am trying to say is that each one of us has the right to decide what we want to or do not want to eat. It is a personal choice and we should let it be. Human digestive system may or may not be entirely made to digest meat, however, it also shows variation in ability to digest plant sugars. Humans show variation in their ability to extract sugars from starchy foods as they chew them. This depends on how many copies of a certain gene they inherit. Certain populations, like the Hadza (indigenous ethnic group in north-central Tanzania) that traditionally ate more starchy foods, have more copies of the gene than the Yakut meat-eaters of Siberia. The saliva of the Hadza population helps break down starches before the food reaches their stomachs. Another striking piece of evidence is lactose tolerance. All humans digest mother’s milk as infants, weaned children however are no longer needed to digest milk. As a result, they stopped making the enzyme lactase, which breaks down the lactose into simple sugars. This was before the domestication of cattle about 10,000 years ago. After humans began herding cattle, it became immensely useful to digest milk, as humans started consuming dairy products. Lactose tolerance evolved independently among cattle herders in Europe, the Middle East, and Africa, however the groups not dependent on cattle, such as the Chinese and Thai, the Pima Indians of the American Southwest, and the Bantu of West Africa, remained lactose intolerant. So what do these examples suggest? “Your diet is what your ancestors ate!” That means variation in what foods humans can thrive on depends on our genetic inheritance. Traditional diets today include the vegetarian regimen of India’s Jains, the meat-intensive fare of Inuit, and the fish-heavy diet of Malaysia’s Bajau people. The Nochmani of the Nicobar Islands off the coast of India get by on protein from insects. Thus it can be summed up to what the Tsimane study co-leader Leonard says, “What makes us human is our ability to find a meal in virtually any environment.” References- https://www.reference.com/history/did-early-humans-eat-14db3f9a329a1980# http://www.nationalgeographic.com/foodfeatures/evolution-of-diet/ http://www.history.com/news/hungry-history/going-paleo-what-prehistoric-man-actually-ate http://www.marksdailyapple.com/what-did-our-ancient-ancestors-actually-eat/ Valedictory ceremony speech by me to my daughter's batch... Namaste, and a very Good evening to all... Valedictory function 2017, the last time I stood here to give a speech was in 2007. That was the batch I had taught since I joined this school in 2002 hence was special to me. Today ten years later I am standing here again to give the valedictory speech to a batch that is very close to me. I have seen most of you in this batch grow up from the time you were cute little kindergarteners to the dashing young adolescents you are now. For some of you I am your Biology teacher but most of you know me as the mother of one of your classmates. I remember the day Kiran sir interviewed me in Mumbai, “our school is different from other schools” he said, "You must visit Rajkot to see the school for yourself”. Well, after 15 years, I am glad I came to Rajkot and joined this institution, it is a matter of pride that today my daughter is graduating from this wonderful institution. 15 years is a long time, almost all of you have been here for about 15-16 years; and have seen a lot of changes in the institution and changes in yourself. From your “Didi’s” in the prep school to the teachers in high school, from the unknown classmates to the “inseparable part of your life friends”. It is these changes that allow you to adapt and learn the skills essential for a successful life. It is not the knowledge of a subject but the ability to face problems in life that built your character and define you as a person. When you focus on problems you will have more of it, but when you focus on possibilities you’ll have more opportunities. I like what Dr. Abdul Kalam said about school life, “Sometimes, it's better to bunk a class and enjoy with friends, because now, when I look back, marks never make me laugh, but memories do.” How many of you remember the marks you scored in the first prelims… very few of you definitely! However what most of you surely remember is time spend copying the chemistry answers while sitting and chatting with your friends, and how the next day you ended up outside the English class because you were busy with the chemistry home work that you forgot the English homework, you will remember how you escaped being caught by the admin dept while strolling around the entire campus with the excuse of going to the wash room or roaming in the city during galaxy bazaar claiming to be out for sponsorship. All those are now going to be memories……nostalgia… of times when you were carefree and lived a life that just revolved around SNK… the prep building to the annex building and the main building to the sports complex, the pond area, reception area (especially for the late comers), the library and of course the last but not the least…. “the area of last moment talks…..The parking area”. These memories are to be locked safe and taken out to relive your high school years that will bring a smile to your face. Make these your strength, the little doses of vitality that you may extract whenever you feel drained in life. Memories that will remind you of a strong foundation that this school gave you. A school molds and sculptures its students to enhance their potential and talent, which can be exploited once the student moves out of the school. The entire TGES faculty has contributed and created a foundation for a path for you to tread on and have shown you the skies, helping you build wings to fly and reach your dreams. Today all of you have metamorphosed from the innocent toddlers to brilliant and confident teenagers, armed with courage, strength and intelligence capable of facing the outside world. As you move out remember, there are certain things in life that we want because of others i.e. an external push, which makes us do things in life because somebody wants you to. However there is also an internal motivation that pushes us forward. This is the ambition that drives and guides us. That’s what we need; the inner motivation, we need to know that we are doing this by choice. So what ever you do you need to look for the inner motivation that will drive you to achieve success in life. Never forget that you always have voice and choice in your life, your voice has the power to change any situation and for every difficult situation you have a choice. I would like to end this speech with one of my favorite quote by Charles Darwin “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” On behalf of the TGES family, I pray that may God grant you the strength to follow your inner motivation and may you all be able to adapt yourself to changes leading to success. Wishing you all the best! Thank you. The views and experiences of a child penned by a parent. - Deepthi Uthaman “You, are not the highest in class? Your mom is a teacher right?“
“Your mom is a science teacher then why have you chosen humanities?” These are some of the questions my daughter had to endure being in the same school where I am a teacher. As teachers we know that every student is different, each student has their own individuality. However somewhere when it comes to advising students most of us tend to forget this and judge students by their parent’s profession. A doctor’s child should be interested in science and not in literature, or an artist’s child cannot try for the common entrance exam for engineering; these are some of the common views that students hear from their teachers. Do we as teachers realise what we are doing to the young minds? For all you know the parent must have taken up the profession under pressure and not for the love of it! May be not under pressure, but yes the society outlook made me take up science (you know the “Log kya kahenge” thing). I preferred Biology over the other sciences; however the subject that fascinates me even today is Indian History. Selecting "Humanities" with a distinction in grade 10 in the 1980s? It was unheard of! People would have claimed you and your parents insane; hence I ended up taking science. Coming back to my daughter; she being the daughter of a Biology teacher was expected to do something great in the field of Biology. Something like, discover a new species or may be create a new theory, or discover a process that allows animals also to manufacture its own food like plants… that’s not all, the worst part was that she was expected to excel in Biology every time with the highest marks! She had heard “Biology is in your genes” so often that she started hating Biology and also the fact that her mother is a teacher in the same school. According to my daughter, it is difficult for a normal child to understand this; children having their parents working in the same school will only be able to understand this condition. The daughter of my former Principal rightly puts this as the "PIS syndrome", … never heard of it? Well it is Parents In School syndrome. So if you have parents working in the same school, you get special treatment as no one will want to mess with the "child of a teacher". On the other hand as the “child of a teacher” you are supposed to excel in sports, dance, recitations and academics. Making friends is also a tough game as you don’t understand who are genuine and who are the ones just befriending you because you are “child of a teacher”. Again being the “child of a teacher” everyone has an eye on you, where you go, what you do, whom are you talking to, and even what you had during break time! Most people derive great pleasure in going and telling your parent all this with their views. The parent actually gets a daily report. Gives a feeling of a celebrity right? Yes, but how many of us would like being this type of a celebrity? The condition of the teacher-parent is also perplexing at times. Especially when it comes to questioning the system or giving opinion about something, we are unable to put up our views, the entire brunt of our view or opinion has to be borne by our child. There are times when my daughter has come home and said, "Mom, I told you not to talk to any of my teachers, why don't you understand?" However, as parents the good thing is we know that our child is in safe hands. The school, the staff are all familiar to us, we know when and what to expect. Apart from this, there are teachers who genuinely care and give critical feedback to us while treating the child normally. As a parent it may be good idea to have your child in the same school….. but as far as the kids are concerned it is difficult to comment. After all they are different individuals and have their own views! “When a teenage boy told my friend why he wouldn’t marry a working woman.”This was an article by a teenage girl that caught my eye. “I will clarify with my wife that she never works or has a job,” said the boy. The article mentions how the boy expects his would-be-wife to be a homemaker like his mother. He wants his wife to take up the responsibilities his mother has been handling for years. The girl is not able to connect with the thinking of the boy, as she is the daughter of single working mother. This had me thinking, the girl was looking from her friend’s paradigm, and her friend is a girl with modern views. What about the boy? We talk of feminism, woman’s rights and equality for men and women. However here we are talking in terms of the female only. What is the reason behind this mentality in the boy? Lets see his viewpoint; he seems to be concerned for his mother. For him it is relieving her from the burden of her household duties. He must have seen her working day in and day out for the family; the only option he saw was that his wife could give some relief to his mother in terms of the burden she has been handling for years. What’s wrong with that anyways? Well, if he has seen his mother working herself tired did he think of helping her? Did he think of helping his mother, or doing something that would reduce her burden? Maybe not, or maybe he did try but without success, his mother might have categorically refused saying, “Beta, you are boy, you don’t need to do all this!” She would not have wanted her male child to get into the mundane household chores. So here lies the problem! It is not that the boy is looking out for a homemaker wife, but why is he thinking that he should marry a non working girl. The problem is the over- protective, narrow-minded parents who do not let their children think different. Some moms who think her male child should not enter in the kitchen, not even for a glass of water! Are you wondering what will happen if a boy enters the kitchen? Well for all you know their family status may be at stake! You know “khandaan ki naak kat jayegi”. Yes this mentality still exists in some families and on the other hand we have Sanjeev kapoor and Vikas Khanna who have made a great name in creating new recipes. Coming back to the mentality, it is this type of thinking among parents that brings such attitude and thoughts among boys. Why only boys? Girls today also shy away from any household work. According to most teenagers today, it is the duty of their mother to cook and feed them, irrespective of their mother being a housewife or a workingwoman. Some teenagers would not like to be found dead working in the kitchen. If the mother is a homemaker then it is her duty and if she is a workingwoman then it is the duty of the cook or the maid. Teenagers are not supposed to be doing household work! What else they have a perfect reply… “It’s the teenage hormones Mom”. Ya...As though we were born in our 30’s or 40’s without experiencing adolescence! Well, its not that all teenagers are like this, some teenagers do help in the household work, however such cases are rare and the difference can be seen in the atmosphere at home. The atmosphere at home; that’s hard to believe right? We as parents need to change our attitude, first. Men should help their homemaker wife with her household work and sometimes discuss office matters and take the opinion or suggestions from their wife. If both parents are working they should see that the household work is equally distributed among all the family members. All members include children also. This will create a sense of responsibility and equality in the family that the children will imbibe. Thus a change in how we act will make the thoughts and decide the attitude of our children. I was inspired to write this after reading my daughters writing-
https://www.youthkiawaaz.com/2017/03/bone-of-contention-unresolved-problem/ As a higher secondary teacher, I have been observing teenagers for more than a decade, I see a deterioration of values, discipline and manners in them. Recently there was an incident that led me to pen down my thoughts on this. “ Ma’am, what should I do? Are you allowing me to write the paper or sending me home?” The invigilator was dumbfounded for a second; she had caught this girl using unfair means during her grade 11 final exams. The girl had around 8-10 chits kept between the neat folds of the sleeves of her school kurta. The audacity with which the student questioned has stunned the invigilator.
There was no sign of remorse or distress in her eyes; instead she seemed quite calm and composed. “Sir, I will not do this again, there is no need to call my parents,” she told the admin staff in the office who was trying to inform her parent. Later at home I shared the incident with my teenage daughter, “So?” she simply gave me a blank look! My daughter is in the same school, a year senior to the girl caught cheating, “That’s how the teenagers are today, mom!” her answer shocked me, but that was not all, she further justified her statement. “Most teenagers do not consider achieving things by unfair means as immoral, be it an exam or any thing else.” She continued, “For most teenagers today, achieving things are important rather than how you achieve it.” I was astounded to hear all this… are these the future citizens of our country! What happened to our values? “Who do you think is responsible for all this?” I asked. “Parents of course!” came her reply. “See mom, there are very few parents who actually spend time with their children. They just believe that fulfilling the needs of my child is what a parent is supposed to do”. This had me thinking, actually, most parents today think that their responsibility is just to meet all the needs of their child. That, according to them is the measure of success as a parent. These needs include providing a separate AC room with LED TV, iphone, car/bike, branded clothes and restaurant food. Family time is now just a vacation to Switzerland, South Africa or any other exotic location. Sometime back my daughter was talking about an acquaintance of her classmate, this boy is studying liberal arts staying in a hostel. His daily pocket money is equivalent to the monthly income of some Indians Rs 5000/-. The boy got into bad company and started taking drugs in the first year of college. The worst part is that the parents are not even aware of it; his mother gives him money whenever he asks for it. How is it that a mother does not even realize that there is a change in her son? They are so engrossed in fulfilling the wishes of the child that they overlook the feelings of the child! The fact that the child needs to be heard, guided and advised does not exist in the dictionary of most parents. Parents today do not want their child to go through any difficulties. They try to protect them from the problems even before the problem truly arises. That’s where the trouble lies, because the child then does not value things. Most of these parents have had strict and orthodox parents; they needed the help of their mother to convey something to their father. Thus to avoid such situations and be approachable, they try to be friendly with their children. However, what they don’t realize is that there is a fine line between being friendly and being a friend. Being friendly with your child is good as they are able to share things, but if you become a friend then the equation changes. The kids then take you for granted; parents should thus know when and where to draw a line. What is acceptable and what is not. We have heard the saying “charity begins at home” so does basic morals and values. Parents have to teach these at home. The school molds a child, however the clay is set at home. What the parent needs to understand is that even the best of the schools will fail to mold the child if the clay is not proper. After all values are imbibed more than they are taught. Deepthi Uthaman We are familiar with the fact that cheese has lots of fat, is high in calories and cholesterol. However, it was surprising to read that we can get hooked to it! Yes, that’s true, not only cheese, we can get hooked to milk also. Maneka Gandhi says that dairy products contains opioid- a chemical that gives a feeling of well-being, calm, intense feeling of pleasure followed by drowsiness. According to the article the milk protein contains opiate. I did some research and found out that milk actually contains morphine.
As milk digests it releases mild opiates called casomorphins. This comes from the breakdown of the milk protein casein. When milk is converted to cheese, most of the water is removed thus leaving behind concentrated casein and fats. So this will contain maximum opiates. But why should mammalian milk contain opioids? Dr. Neal Bernard- founder and President Physicians committee for responsible medicine gave the reason that opiates from mothers milk produce a calming effect and also helps create the mother infant bond. Casomorphins also have other effects like- it slows down intestinal movements, and has antidiarrheal effect. (the reason why excess cheese consumption may result in constipation) Now, isn’t this strange, that something that we have been told since childhood is good for health is actually something that can make us an addict? |
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