Hey! So, how is the mom, now that the daughter is not here? Are you missing your daughter?
Obviously! What a question to ask? How would you feel when your eighteen-year-old daughter is away from you? Obviously, you are missing her; getting used to the fact that you don’t have to wake her up in the morning and run behind her needs for the rest of the day. Thus, trying to come in terms with the void that is created in your life. Maybe people think that asking this question will make the mother feel better…really? My little doll…my world … my lifeline is away from me…how do you expect me to be? Enjoying life? What do you expect me to say? That I sit and cry? Well not exactly but yes I do miss her a lot. My daughter is pursuing higher studies in Canada and I have to put up with such questions since then. My tiny little doll who used to depend on me for everything, grew-up and is now a confident teenager. Those tiny hands that would grasp my finger tightly…grew into little hands that held my dupatta following me around the house… then the hands grew large enough to fit into mine and would accompany me for shopping, movies, or just for a drive beside me… then the hands took control over the steering wheel of my car and now they are far away from me controlling her own life without me. After completing all the formalities and getting the visa, sending her alone was a tough decision. I remembered having read somewhere “Having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body for a life time” well at least all these years I was able to see my heart walk outside, but now I would be sending my heart miles and miles away not being able to see her. Not able to see her, well that would mean,…not being able to see the twinkle in her eyes when she likes something (mostly an SRK movie), not see the faint dimples that form when she smiles, not see her cute satisfactory expression when she gets her favourite food, not see her sulking when I shout at her… its not just "not being able to see her", but its missing all those moments that I live with her. The most significant thing about her is her blabbering; she can go on and on…sometimes even to the extent of irritating me but I loved getting irritated and now I long to hear her and wait for her untimely whatsapp calls! All mother daughter relationships are special, but being a single mother it is difficult to explain how much a part of my life she is. It’s so easy for people to ask, “Do you miss your daughter?” and expect an answer to that! The most common question is “How did you manage to send your daughter so far away from yourself?” Of course it was not easy, for that matter bringing up a daughter without her father is also not easy. My daughter probably has no memories of her father. I got a divorce when she was about two years, since then I have brought her up with a lot of struggles. She has been everything to me, like I said “my lifeline”. Coming back to the question; how did I manage to send her “saat samundar paar” (like it is normally said in Hindi). Well to be frank, I don’t know how I did it…all I knew was I had to allow her to spread her wings and fly. What do people think? I want to enjoy life alone, is that the answer they expect? How many would understand the struggles of a single mother bringing up a girl child? If you are not in the same situation, you will never understand! All these years, I have seen that people prefer being mere spectators or advisors, very few genuinely come forward and be a part of your struggles and stand beside you. It is important for girls to know how to survive alone in this world. The only way I could ensure that my daughter will be independent, encounter the harsh realities of life, take her own decisions, learn from her mistakes, see the extend of her wings and live her dreams was to let her live without me!
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