As a higher secondary teacher, I have been observing teenagers for more than a decade, I see a deterioration of values, discipline and manners in them. Recently there was an incident that led me to pen down my thoughts on this. “ Ma’am, what should I do? Are you allowing me to write the paper or sending me home?” The invigilator was dumbfounded for a second; she had caught this girl using unfair means during her grade 11 final exams. The girl had around 8-10 chits kept between the neat folds of the sleeves of her school kurta. The audacity with which the student questioned has stunned the invigilator.
There was no sign of remorse or distress in her eyes; instead she seemed quite calm and composed. “Sir, I will not do this again, there is no need to call my parents,” she told the admin staff in the office who was trying to inform her parent. Later at home I shared the incident with my teenage daughter, “So?” she simply gave me a blank look! My daughter is in the same school, a year senior to the girl caught cheating, “That’s how the teenagers are today, mom!” her answer shocked me, but that was not all, she further justified her statement. “Most teenagers do not consider achieving things by unfair means as immoral, be it an exam or any thing else.” She continued, “For most teenagers today, achieving things are important rather than how you achieve it.” I was astounded to hear all this… are these the future citizens of our country! What happened to our values? “Who do you think is responsible for all this?” I asked. “Parents of course!” came her reply. “See mom, there are very few parents who actually spend time with their children. They just believe that fulfilling the needs of my child is what a parent is supposed to do”. This had me thinking, actually, most parents today think that their responsibility is just to meet all the needs of their child. That, according to them is the measure of success as a parent. These needs include providing a separate AC room with LED TV, iphone, car/bike, branded clothes and restaurant food. Family time is now just a vacation to Switzerland, South Africa or any other exotic location. Sometime back my daughter was talking about an acquaintance of her classmate, this boy is studying liberal arts staying in a hostel. His daily pocket money is equivalent to the monthly income of some Indians Rs 5000/-. The boy got into bad company and started taking drugs in the first year of college. The worst part is that the parents are not even aware of it; his mother gives him money whenever he asks for it. How is it that a mother does not even realize that there is a change in her son? They are so engrossed in fulfilling the wishes of the child that they overlook the feelings of the child! The fact that the child needs to be heard, guided and advised does not exist in the dictionary of most parents. Parents today do not want their child to go through any difficulties. They try to protect them from the problems even before the problem truly arises. That’s where the trouble lies, because the child then does not value things. Most of these parents have had strict and orthodox parents; they needed the help of their mother to convey something to their father. Thus to avoid such situations and be approachable, they try to be friendly with their children. However, what they don’t realize is that there is a fine line between being friendly and being a friend. Being friendly with your child is good as they are able to share things, but if you become a friend then the equation changes. The kids then take you for granted; parents should thus know when and where to draw a line. What is acceptable and what is not. We have heard the saying “charity begins at home” so does basic morals and values. Parents have to teach these at home. The school molds a child, however the clay is set at home. What the parent needs to understand is that even the best of the schools will fail to mold the child if the clay is not proper. After all values are imbibed more than they are taught. Deepthi Uthaman
1 Comment
Dr. wilma
3/1/2017 11:57:52 am
unfortunately! but its so true!
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DeepthiThis page gives my reviews on books and articles read by me or any other issue that I pen down. Archives
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